The Great Divorce

Another song that I've listened to over and over again and all of the sudden the words hit me differently today...completely different context than the songwriter's intent (I'm guessing), but struck a chord with me and where I and others are! The Vid is more so you can hear the audio not for the vid. itself...Really look at the lyrics instead!

Nothing Lasts Forever--Maroon 5


It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way
________________________________

I've been having a LOT of conversations with MANY people that are feeling more and more estranged from the Church. Some have already divorced the mainline Church, and some are still in the Church and are trying to fight this feeling that the Church isn't ministering to them anymore, and neither is it giving them the opportunities to live out their faith as they now are understanding it. This latter group of people honestly LOVE the Church. Both groups of people LOVE GOD! But it seems that I meet a new person that falls into one of these 2 categories.

What's happening seems to be that churches frustrate and hurt these people that are "emerging" into a new understanding of their faith and responsibility to that faith. However, they are finding their church less and less understanding of these people and try to fill these people's needs with the same old approaches. The lack of understanding on the Church's part combined with the frustration (on both sides) because neither party can seem to help each other is leading to a "great divorce" in the mainstream church.

Don't get me wrong, for the most part, those that have been in the Church DON'T want to leave. They would much rather help the Church understand their "emergence" and allow the Church to continue to be the outlet for their exploration, understanding, worship, and missions. But many churches (that means there are some that are succeeding in transitioning to minister to these people) end up alienating these people and pushing them out unintentionally (although the intentional pushing out happens also). At the same time, these people can get so frustrated at the slowness or lack of change within their beloved churches and willingly depart. I will admit that some probably give up too soon, but they are leaving nonetheless.

Thus enter the song above. The idea that (giving both parties the benefit of the doubt that they are both trying, yet still not succeeding) they are forcing a relationship that can't survive. so the idea becomes:
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest
It hurts but it may be the only way

The relationship is ripe with memories of what once was between the two, but sadly no new good memories are being created. The person has built a wall around their heart because they are tired of being hurt and having the feeling of personal worthlessness that they've experienced more and more frequently. They dream every night of their wall breaking down and allowing their love (the Ch.) back in. The relationship on both sides has become dysfunctional, both souls are being stressed and burnt-out by this relationship, and usually if the "great divorce" doesn't happen (initiated by either side), then the sadness can kill them both! (all pulled from the lyrics above).

This is what's happening before our eyes. This is why so many people feel disenfranchised by the Church. I post this to show that it's not always (but sometimes it is) a case of intentional estrangement, but rather a hard decision by one or both parties based on the love that was once there! I challenge Churches not to let these people go! They (most of them anyway) love you so much that they will do anything to help you minister to them and those like them. Yes, their ideas may be alien to you, but if they are ignored more and more, they will give up and leave.

And I know that for every 1 person that leaves there are at least 5 more struggling with the same thoughts that no one is publicly addressing, because these people usually just disappear. Are there one day and gone the next. Why? Because if the Church initiates the divorce, they don't want to look bad in the eyes of their other congregants and bring attention to the problem within their pews. And if it is the initiation of the individual/group who is tired of working to save the relationship that seems one-sided (although it often is), they depart quietly so not to hurt the church that they love dearly!

Just something to think on! It tears me up that this "great divorce" is taking place, and it saddens me even more to know that it becomes a more common reality every day!

"Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame"