Ghosts Appear And Fade Away

This music entry is dedicated to Neil, Chris, and the cast of Scrubs in their final season!
I picked this version of the song, because it's my fav. episode of Scrubs, built around Colin Hay's (yes, of the "land Down under" and, "Who Could It Be Now" fame) Overkill!




OVERKILL-Colin Hay
I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
Perhaps it's just imagination
Day after day it reappears
Night after night
my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away

Alone between the sheets
Only brings exasperation
It's time to walk the streets
Smell the desperation
At least there's pretty lights
And though there's little variation
It nullifies the night from overkill
Day after day it reappears
Night after night
my heartbeat shows the fears
Ghosts appear and fade away
Come back another day

I can't get to sleep
I think about the implications
Of diving in too deep
And possibly the complications
Especially at night
I worry over situations
I know will be alright
It's just overkill

Day after day it reappears
Night after night
my heartbeat shows the fear
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
Ghosts appear and fade away
________________________

I italicized the last part that really hits home to me! Sometimes I drown in my questions and my faith! My wife points out the level of intensity that has arisen since my termination from my last church. The amount of dedication I have to creating a safe environment for people to ask those questions, and truly explore their faith can morph from dedication to obsession, and yes overkill!

All of this is of course, a response to the fact that most churches don't allow themselves to be a safe place for people to explore their faith, and encourage the questions that usually produce growth. Hence why most people come one day a week to church, sit for an hour, "fulfill their spiritual duty for that week", but never do anything else, even something as simple as reflecting on the lesson, topic, teaching for that day! That's not faith, that is passive obligational guiltlessness! I hate to use the word shallow, but I've even had a pastor tell me that the people in the congregation that he shepherds were shallow, and that's the way they like it! "it's too hard to educate them" to be real disciples! I'm really not sure who it was too hard for? Prob. Both!

So, I've gone deeper, and it keeps me awake at night. My future is uncertain, and it worries me! I've become someone that I'm happy with, although I fear that no church wants someone who is authentic, flawed, and has questions because no church seems to want to hire a minister who is a real person... or at least one that doesn't LOOK like a real person. No one seems interested in someone who wants to challenge the status quo of what Christianity has become, and help lead them to a more important and affective place! Is it overkill or reality? Sometimes it's hard to tell!

But each day, "Ghosts appear and fade away...."