My Family Story

I’ve actually written this blog many times in my own mind. I’ve tried several catchy ways to start it off, collected many puns, invented witty remarks, but in the end none of it has achieved the goal that I set out for. So I have reverted back to the simple power of story. This is my story, from my point of view, but is a tale that I feel needs to be told as I am working through my own emotions and understandings of this story, and how (in a theological sense) this story merges with my story of my Christian walk.

When I was 15 my mother sat me down in my room to have a serious talk with me. At first I was afraid because I thought my parents finally built up the nerve to have “the sex talk” with me. Yeah I know, most 15 year-olds already know way too much about sex, but that doesn’t stop parents from being naive about their child’s naivety on the subject.

Anyway, it was a narrow escape, but that wasn’t what my mom wanted to talk to me about. I could never have prepared myself for what she was about to tell me. She told me that the person that I had always known as my father was not my real father. Long story short (because there are many details that are still unclear), my mom gave birth to me and my father was never in the picture. I know that many questions arise from the ambiguity of that summary, but know that there are many queries that I still have, yet I’m not sure I am ready, or, for that matter, will ever be ready to hear. So, I fall safely to the understanding that my father and mother were young and that mistakes and injudicious decisions were made.

Needless to say, this news came as a shock to me. I know that this happens and is not a rare occurrence in this day and age, yet I couldn’t help to take it as a shock when the life i had always known seemed, at least for a couple of days, to be a farce. I was 15 years old, my world while not turned upside down, was still knocked awkwardly askew. I made the decision not to search for my real dad (between my resources being limited and a shaky relationship with my adoptive father), and instead went about with my life as if nothing changed. Eventually the new information was filed away in the back of my head and was no longer an issue.

Fast forward now to the summer where I am taking classes between my Jr. and Sr. year of college. I get a call from my mother with disturbing news. My real father has now passed away from massive heart failure at the age of 41. My mom, audibly upset, not only breaks the news to me, but makes several calls to find out the particulars about his funeral. When she calls back I am in the midst of trying to figure out how to get ahold of my professors and how to get out of class for a couple of days. The thoughts of blame and guilt had already started seeping into my brain and I had begun cursing myself for never getting around to finding and meeting my real father. Now I would never have the chance to meet him and tell him that I held no ill will towards him. I had always felt like he deserved to hear that from me because no one should go through life with the guilt of a bad decision if there is someone who can relieve him or her of that burden. I honestly held no contempt towards my father or mother for the mistakes that were made.

What I did not consider, however, is that my real father would have made a life and family for himself. I don’t know why I had never considered this, I guess it was because I had never seen a picture and up until the phone call about his death, my mom and I never discussed it. Thus, when my mom relayed the particulars of the funeral to me, she broke some more shocking news: I had a younger brother and sister. All of the sudden I had to make a decision. I didn’t know if they knew about me, and if they didn’t, I didn’t want my presence to place any questions or thoughts in their heads that would potentially ruin the wonderful memories of their father that they held. So I made the decision not to attend the funeral because of that, and because of classes.

I often beat myself up for this decision, along with the decision not to find him to begin with. It is a hardship that I struggle deeply with because I chose to miss out on a lot of things on which I will never get a second chance . I will never get a chance to know my real father and the person he became. Although admitedly curious, I really don’t care what happened for him not to be a part of my life. I don’t care about the man that he was at that one moment in his history. What I DO care about was the man that he had become. I question and analyze my choices; my excuses to never meet my real father. It is scary how fast “too late” came knocking at my door.
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Now here I am at 26 years-old and again my life has changed; this time in a more wonderful and hopeful way. My brother and sister found out about me soon after our father's death and eventually convinced their mother to track me down. I got a call from her asking if I was interested in meeting my brother and sister. Unlike the previous bad decisions I made about not seeking my dad, I was exhilarated by the opportunity to meet them. I quickly found out that my brother (18) is a freshman at the same college where I received both my undergrad and Masters Degrees. I also found out that I had a 15 year-old sister that is a sophomore in High School.

As I have met them, I have begun to fall in love with them. I have talked to my brother several times (AIM, phone, and in person), and until yesterday had only talked to my sister only on Instant Messenger. Yesterday I was privileged enough to meet her and her family in person at my brother’s homecoming at school. It was one of the best days of my life! I feel like I’ve known them more than a month, and it is amazing (and kind of scary) how much he 3 of us are alike.

Life is moving on, and I can’t help but to want to put my life on hold and spend all of my time getting to know them. I feel like I have missed out on soo much not knowing them over the years (something else to beat myself up over). Sadly though, our lives must go on, and all I can do is hope that over the years they will allow me to build a relationship with the both of them that will make up for all of the years lost. I couldn’t ask for 2 more receptive and open people to have as a long-lost brother and sister. They have been so kind and accepting of me although they have no reason to be. I know that we are related by blood, but in this day and age that means so little to most families (luckily my siblings and the mafia are an exclusion: ) .

So where am I now emotionally? Overwhelmed and confused are the best words I know to describe it. I have yet to sort completely through my feelings about the situations. I am ecstatic about the possibilities and the relationships I am building with my siblings. However, always lurking is the oppressing guilt that is hiding in the shadows. I am getting to know my father through his children, but I still will never know the man in person. I will hear stories and I have seen pictures, but that is far from capturing the flesh and blood that they grew up knowing. I wish I had known him. I wish I had more than a month’s worth of memories and experience with my brother and sister, but it IS all that I have. All I can do is keep going and hope that they will allow me to make up for lost time with them. All I can do about my father is hear their memories and see the emotion and love in their faces and try to paint my own picture of my father using their words as my brush.

I am thankful that God has opened this door in my life. I am thankful for the opportunity to fall in love with 2 wonderful people that I have never known. I am thankful for the fact that my younger brother and sister are better people than I am, because, unlike my decision to put off finding my father and getting to know him, they are smarter and bolder and they took the initiative in finding and getting to know me. My only hope is that I don’t let them down and that I can be the brother they want me to be!

Waitin on the World to Change

Disclaimer: I in no way am speaking on behalf of John Mayer. These thoughts, opinions and interpretations are mine and mine alone!-justin

If you have not heard "Waiting on the World to Change", please listen to the song before reaading!
The song/video can be found here: http://johnmayer.com/index.cfm
The lyrics can be found here: http://www.moron.nl/lyrics.php?id=83928&artist=John%20Mayer

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Many people know that I connect with John Mayer’s music. His music has always to me, been an honest and open communication that resonates with my personal life and our generation!

His newest single: “Waiting on the World to Change” is another song that truly strikes a chord with the way that I feel many times in my life! This song is easily and overtly political. I respect Mr. Mayer’s political stance, and agree with many of his political positions, however, in this specific Blog, I want to take a more general and personal approach to this song. You see connection for me between the song and my personal life does not confine itself to just the political arena!

The song (in my own opinion) is about how our generation (Gen. X; those in their mid 20’s to early 30’s), suffers from a loss of respect. We are adults! However, the world ignores us because of our age and (in their eyes) inexperience. Our American world truly does belong to the baby boomers.

However, contrary to most of the older generation’s understanding of us, we are not worthless in this world. Yes, we do have ideas and opinions, but often times those don’t matter. I think that Mr. Mayer has hit the nail on the head when he concludes his song with the lyrics:
“One day our generation is gonna rule the population,
So we keep on waiting on the world to change.”

In my life, not only in the ministry, but I’ve found, dealing with ay institution, my own personal ideas and opinions are not valued and most of the time not even given an ear or consideration! Yet, it is my generation that sees that the world is changing. Change does not scare us; in fact many of us embrace it. It is true that we are a nostalgic group who remembers our past, but we are willing to embrace the changing world, and more importantly, ADAPT to fit it. One observation about our generation is that we want to play a part in the world. We want to make the world a better place because we can see the sufferings and suppression of those in places outside of the U.S.! We think globally, we atypically, and we think outside of the box!

Many call the outspoken people of our generation liberals because we don’t buy in to the status quo of our society! I argue that we are being misjudged and mislabeled. We just have different ideas, concerns, and perspectives from our parents. We try to understand the world not only through our own interaction with it, but also through the eyes and stories of others. Because of what drives us, and because of our sensitivity to other people in different circumstances, we are the ones coming up with, what others call, wild and crazy ideas! However, we are pushed aside, held back, and silenced because ideas seem to crazy to work. Unfortunately, it is the “craziness” of our ideas that makes our ideas more effective than some of the current policies and programs.

Working in churched, I have seen many of my ideas scoffed at and completely overlooked. Many times, when sharing my atypical approaches to ministry, my words fall on deaf ears. Yet, in settings where people with extraordinary atypical approaches to ministry and to life are given a chance, wonderful and amazing things happen. People’s lives are EFFECTED! Think of what kind of world we would have if everyone listened to this huge generation a little bit more! The possibilities are endless!

However, the sad truth is that we have yet to inherit the world. Yes we are legally considered adults, but to our parents and grandparents we are still just wild-eyed kids.
To them, we don’t take responsibility seriously, when the truth is that while we are still light-hearted and adventurous, we take our roles in this world as seriously as you will let us! We shouldn’t have to wait to inherit the earth, because I would like to have a say in the world I inherit. Again, John Mayer’s words will probably always ring true. We will have to continue to wait on the world to change. We’re waiting on the world to change!

The City of Blinding Lights

(Photo by Justin Bowman)
“The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now”
-U2 City of Blinding Lights

All I can say is that I love New York! I never really traveled much growing up, but the one place that I always wanted to go was NYC. I used to dream that one day I would move away and live in the big apple because the more I saw and read of NY, the more I was intrigued and wooed by the singing sirens of the city.

I have now had my dreams fulfilled by visiting NY not once, but twice in the last year. I thought that visiting the city would satiate my craving once and for all, but I have found that the more I have seen, the more there is to see!

Bono sings about this very feeling in The City of Blinding Lights. I feel the same way, now that the more I’ve seen, the less I feel like I know about the city in all of its aspects. I have been overwhelmed by what I have seen and heard, for there is something so magical about the place. After two visits I have fallen even more in love with the beauty of the city.

My wife would say, “What’s beautiful about a place that has soo little grass?” and I think that many people would prefer to travel to see natural beauty, like the Grand Canyon, than the canyons of concrete, steel and glass. But there is something beautiful about it! Seeing the color reflected off of the faces of the people in times square at night, or watching friends and families play together in central park! We went one night to a rooftop restaurant and had a view of many buildings (Empire State, Met Life, and Chrysler Bldng.) from twenty stories up. The night was beautiful, and so was the view!

However, it is more than the architecture and flashiness that draws me to this city of blinding lights. It is also the people. The people captivate me, and I can literally sit there and people watch for hours on end. It amazes me how many people there are and how little interaction there is. You pass hundreds of people every day without a smile, a hello, or even a touch unless it is someone bumping into you on the sidewalk. Not only is this the city of blinding lights, but it is the city of ipods, solitude, and loneliness. How is it that one can be around soo many people, yet at the same time be so lonely?

Yet i realize that you can't blame the city for this! People everywhere are becoming more and more isolated. It is just so much easier to see in the city. Why do we do this? When we have a basic need for others, why do we barricade ourselves off from those things that we need most? hmmm...a topic for another day!

The city captivates me because people captivate me. I love people! I love getting to know people. I am addicted to trying to understand people, and psychology and biology can only explain so much about humanity. The more I see of people, the less I feel like I know. The more I learn the more I realize that I knew much more about people and about this wonderful city (at least I thought I did before I interacted with the city) than I do now! This city, just like people, remains a mystery to me. The more time I spend with each, the more I realize that there is a lot more to experience, observe, and understand. I can't wait to get the chance to do it again!

“oh you look so beautiful tonight,
In the city of blinding lights.”

Plugging the Blogger Buddies

While I am hard at work on my next post, I thought that I would draw your attention to a new Blog site that i have linked to under Blogger Buddies. This is the Blog of my best friend, Jamie, who will be leaving the good-ol US of A for a whole year! He is heading to Peru as a missionary for a year. I am both excited for him and sad at his departure. I talked him into blogging so that We can keep up with him while he is gone! Please check out his Blog regularly, as well as the other Blogger Buddies in my links! Come back soon for an update to my Blog!

Jamie's Blog: Mi Vida en Peru (My Life in Peru) http://www.missionmindedtarheel.blogspot.com/

fighting our fear

We have recently been spending time individually with our five newly adopted nieces. The other day we had one that had never been roller-skating. Alison and I decided to take her to our local skating rink only to find that after 15 minutes of trying to teach her to roller-skate she realized that she was too scared to try to learn any longer. We kept telling her that the key to learning to skate was simply to let go of the person holding you, get out there, and do it! The goal is to stop thinking and analyzing and to simply get out on the floor! Before you know it, you will be skating and will feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment!

Our wonderful niece, like most children, allowed her fear to rule her decision-making abilities. We offered to tighten her skates for her to make it easier, but by that time fear had its hold and would not let go. Instead, we went home and her and Alison baked cookies because our niece knew how to do that and was comfortable doing it!

Is there any Christian correlation to this? I think so! For many centuries most of Christianity has taken on the attitude of being Reactive as apposed to being proactive! The one thing that I herald more than anything else in the teachings of Christ is the building of the Kingdom of God (KOG). All of my life the KOG has been referred to as heaven- something that happens in the afterlife. However, if we look carefully Christ is quite ambiguous about the KOG. At times he refers to the KOG as something that will happen in the future; perhaps heaven perhaps not, but there are many occurrences where he refers to the KOG as being “at hand”.

“At hand”? What does that mean… it doesn’t exactly mean already here, but it doesn’t necessarily mean something in the far off future either. When Christ speaks of the KOG, many times he is referencing something that is being built. When Christ entered into the world, one of his messages and purposes was to begin the foundation of the KOG through his teachings, and then to had over the project to God’s children to build the KOG here on earth!

This is a PROACTIVE task. It is the charge to make the world a better place! It is the responsibility that we all have to make this world look like the picture of the KOG that Christ painted. We are really good at being reactive in this world! When someone decides that they are pro-choice, against the death penalty, supporting the rights of homosexuals, or support any other number of hot button moral issues that many Christians see as amoral, they RE-act in outrage. Sadly, this is really the only times when we hear about Christians in the media.

We are not supposed to be reactive, but proactive! These above mentioned moral agendas are meager at best from a biblical basis (although I know many would argue with that statement, so be it), especially when compared to the proactive charges given by Christ. Christ doesn’t speak on Gay marriage, but he speaks a lot about helping those who can’t help themselves! He speaks a great deal about the poor, meek, needy, and oppressed. Yet we really don’t hear much about Christians out there (Bono excluded) working to end world poverty/hunger, helping Aids victims in Africa, or even working to get the homeless in their local community off of the street and into a self-sufficient way of life!

Instead, we remain reactive because we are scared! It takes trust and (gasp) faith to go out on a limb and be proactive and make a difference in the world around us! Like our niece and roller-skating, it is easier to give up, go home and bake cookies from pull-apart dough than it is to stay on the floor, let go of our hand and learn to skate.

It is easier to yell at the daily clips on Fox news and agree with the Right Wing that Gay Marriage is Bad, than it is to go out and befriend the Gay community who is being oppressed in the name of Christianity! I am not trying to make a moral argument in that statement; I only use it to ask which of those two actions work towards building the KOG? One is reactive, while one is proactive. One is easy and comfortable, while the other requires faith, a level of awkwardness, and most importantly ACTION!

One of my favorite passages accredited to Jesus is found not in the canon of the Bible, but in the Gospel of Thomas:
“His disciples said to him, ‘when will the kingdom come?’ Jesus said, ‘It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying, ‘here it is’ or ‘there it is.’ Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it.’”
(Saying 113)

When we call ourselves Christians, and operate only in the safe realm of the reactive, then we continue to blemish the Christian name because truly to follow Christ is to operate proactively in this world and do our part in building the KOG! Stop acting out of fear, and begin to act out of faith!!!!

Resignation Realization

Elton John and Bernie Taupin once wrote, "I'm sorry seems to be the hardest words". I used to think that was right, but now I'm not so sure...

Last Sunday I read my letter of resignation to our congregation. I had told myself that it was ok, I had read and practiced the letter many times and I was sure that I could keep my emotions in check. However, once again I over estimated my abilities and that one page letter turned into the longest thing that I have ever had to publically read.
I knew that this was comming, and the congregation knew it was comming, and I knew that the Congregation knew, but it still didn't make things any easier. I think that presenting the letter to people whom i have come to care about in a place that, although I sometimes complain about, really made me realize the reality of my leaving.

I have learned that saying goodbye seems to be the hardest words for me! Saying, "I'm sorry," is easy, my pride is not an issue. However, my emotions have always been close to the surface, and it is hard to leave a place you care about, no matter how irritated you can get with the institution at times. And that is the key! That is the reason that I went into the ministry in the first place. It wasn't for the institution, that is the thing I like least in my ministry, it was (and is) for the people. I love people, and I especially love the people of my church!

This has been a wonderful learning experience for me! I have gotten back in touch with the reason for my carrer choice. It was because of people! Will I still continue to vent and moan about the institution of Christianity? But, of course! However, I leave this church with no regrets because of the love that i have shared with its people, and (even more so) the love that they have shared with me!

Goodbye seems to be the hardest word!

The Distance Calls

As some of you know I will be leaving my church very shortly. I have come to a point in my life, after 2 semesters of questioning and thinking, where action is now required. I am venturing out in search of what God has next for me. As life has it though, I am not exactly sure where the next step will lead. There is a twinkle of light in the overshadowed road ahead, but all I can do is follow the voice of my calling to wherever it may take me.

Below is a poem that I have written as my last newsletter article. I do not claim to be a very good poet, but these sets of couplets capture the pain and confusion that I am feeling, and that others may feel when they know that one chapter of their life is coming to a close yet the next chapter has not yet started. I hope that it communicates the love that I have given and received to those I am leaving as well as letting all of us realize that the past is never as far behind as we might think. It may not be W.B. Yeates, but it is from my heart...feel free to comment as always!
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THE DISTANCE CALLS

The distance calls, you hear its cry.
It beckons, "follow me into the night"
You look down the road you cannot see
You hear the voice, "trust in me".

Looking back you see where you've been
The tears ask why it has to end
"Why can't I stay?" you ask the dark.
While ahead of you ignites a spark.

It's not enough to light your way.
But it lets you know that you can't stay.
Glance back once more, oh! The memories.
Again, your heart begins to grieve.

A smile, a tear, you see those you've loved.
You say a prayer to up above!
Your eyes still linger, just one more look!
You're happy with the path you took.

Once again you hear that voice,
It says that you must make a choice!
"Life goes on, you cannot bend,
For this is not your journey's end"

With a sigh, you take a step.
You tell yourself, "no regrets".
You journey towards that newfound light,
But find the past is never really out of sight.

It encourages; it cheers you on!
For those you leave are never really gone.

Again the voice: "stick with me."
As more and more, you begin to see.
A new adventure is just ahead,
Found on this path that you now tread.

You say, "farewell, we now must part."
You know that this is just the start.
The start of what? I do not know.
However, the future has a lot to show!

But, leave a light in that window pane,
For by God's grace we'll meet again.
"So long, goodbye!" you turn and wave,
As the newfound dark becomes your day!

Our Overkill

Colin Hay (of the "Land down under" and "Who can it be now?" 80's fame) has a song called "Overkill". It has become a great song to me, and was featured in an episode of that wonderful show, Scrubs, who's episode was entitled "My Overkill". The Episode is wonderful because it features Colin Hay as a character singing his song while all around him everyone is trying too hard to make what they want to happen, happen.

Overkill is a wonderful word that really explains a lot about our human nature; when we want something to happen so badly that we will do anything to make our mindset a reality. Humanity is notorious for this, especially we Christians. The truth is that we get a picture in our minds of how we want things to be because that would make everything easy and hunky-dory. We Christians like easy, no strike that!, we LOVE easy! We want all Christians, and gasp!, even the whole world to agree with our individual beliefs because that would make our lives so much easier. Thus I have come to observe that althought the stated goal of Christianity is conversion, the true goal has become conformity.

Our practical theology (the beliefs that can be discerned through an observation of our actions) states that the goal of Christianity is not to spread the faith, but to defend the faith. What kind of message does that kind of language send?

It either says first, that we are at war! Here we have an us against them attitude. With that attitude, we push others away! We call them out, raise our swords (or Bibles) and, call them chickens as they turn and walk away ashamed of the display they have just witnessed. That's called overkill!
Or,
second this implies that we are in the midst of some kind of game and we have to defend against the offensive. Well then you just make it so that no one is taking us seriously anymore! We argue against differing ideals so that we can win? What do we win? More times than not, it is definitly not us winning others to Christ. All we usually win is the trophy of our own egos getting a little bigger because we won the debate by making the other person turn away first.

Christianity has become one big staring contest! That is also overkill! We need to relearn the art of forming real relationships! We need to learn to listen and (gasp*) consider differing opinions. I know that my views have changed over the years, and that they will change even more in years to come. The honest-to-God truth is that NO ONE has all the answers (no, not even us Christians) and every person has something of value to add to this world, no matter what their beliefs. That is the beauty of being created in the image of God. If we take the time and expend the effort, we can find aspects of God in every person! I know many Christians (esp. Baptists) like to claim that they have the monopoly on all the answers, and they call that Truth, but the real Truth is that God is still revealing himself, and he has made no one group privy to an exclusive on the Almighty.

"So, what are you saying there Justin? Are you saying that Truth is realitive?" Well, maybe I am and maybe I'm not, to harp on that is to miss my point entirely! My point is that we should stop trying so hard to push our personal agendas, and spend more of our time listening to those around us and treating them as we would want to be treated: with respect! We need to stop our overkill. We need to help people to feel comfortable with us, even when we differ in our opinions. We need to have faith that God can work even in the midst of differences, i mean, he is God after all.

J.D. in the episode of Scrubs "My Overkill", learns a valuable lesson in the end. He learns that there is such a thing as trying too hard. His narrative voice states that "It's funny.... I guess sometimes when you do nothing at all, things just have a way of fixing themselves." Maybe that should be our attitude too. Maybe we should back off a little and have faith that God will work through us without having to resort to fighting of trivializing our beliefs in the face of differences. Perhaps if we give God just a little more room, he can undo the damage that we are continually doing, and allow others to see him through us by the work of the Holy Spirit.

The Atypical Me

check out
http://jeremiahthirtyone.blogspot.com/2006/06/this-morning-our-youth-minister-justin.html

It is such a humbling feeling when the Holy Spirit uses you. That is all i ask in life, that i am servant to the will of God and his presence in the lives of others!

Thank you for the wonderful compliment LeAnne!!!

Adendum

as per request, here is the link to the site with the religious test mentioned in the following blog:
TEST YOUR FAITH: http://quizfarm.com/test.php?q_id=43870
(sorry TM for stealing it from you)

Hello, my name is...

Ok, so i know it's been a while since i have blogged, but life just gets in the way of writing. However, i do make it a habit of checking up on other people's blogs, so i hope that someone somewhere will come back to mine:)

My campus minister (whose blog you can find linked to in my links section Twist of Faith) found this wonderful test on the web and i decided to take it. I think it is a wonderful quiz, although i am sure that it is scientifically flawed. However, it does kinda nail me pretty well. Here are my results (take it yourself off his blog link and post your resutls).

Emergent/Postmodern
96%
Classical Liberal
68%
Modern Liberal
68%
Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan
43%
Charismatic/Pentecostal
43%
Roman Catholic
39%
Neo orthodox
39%
Reformed Evangelical
21%
Fundamentalist
0%

This got me thinking though. This got me thinking about the labels we place on people. In Div. School it was joked that I was the resident liberal. Although I wore the title with pride, i know that the label itself automatically turned people away from me. My opinion was very rarely asked for because most would assume that i would give a liberal answer. Yes it is true that i like to give an (as my friend leanne refers to me in her latest blog (golden child link) ) ATYPICAL answer. Why is that i wonder? IDK? a question to consider for another blog session! But really? Does that automatically make me a liberal?

Back to labels! why do we have labels. Especially in our Christian culture you HAVE to have a label. Another Christian will meet you and want to know are you a Fundamentalist, Conservitive, Moderate, Liberal, Calvinist, Arminian, Baptist, Catholic, Luthern, Seventh-day....
well, i think you see my flow here. Why are labels sooooooo important to people. Its interesting because when someone asks you to identify yourself, it is a test to see what kind of steriotype template can be laid upon you. It is also to see if you are part of the "CLUB" or not. If i answer with the label that that asker is seeking, then i am "in" and the person automatically thinks good things of me. However, if i do not guess the correct answer to the appropriate question, then onnly negitive assumtions are made.

What a terrible way to interact with people. As you could see from the test above, I am a little of each (with the exception of fundamentalist, but i am sure there is a margin of error). I DO NOT fit nice and neat into one catagory. If someone asks me if i am fundamentalist, moderate, or liberal, according to the test liberal would be the correct answer, but what does that really say about me? Am i classical liberal or modern liberal? I seem to be equally both. Does this make me 136% liberal? Actually, the proper label would be (again according to the test) emergent/postmodern... but that wasn't one of my options.

Why can't I just be me? Why must we wear labels? Why do we feel the need to label others? We've always done it throughout history. Jew vs. Gentile, Christian vs. Non-, Black vs. White, Male vs. Female...conservitive vs. liberal. Instead of asking me to label myself, why not let me buy you a cup of coffiee, we sit down like civililzed people, and REALLY get to know each other? Maybe we would see that no one truly can fit under one label!