Cut and Run, or Stay the course?????

Mov. Cap from Dr. Stragelove....classic scene!

Well, if you were expecting a political blog you have come to the wrong place, I am not vocal about my politics. But if the title got your attention then good, stick around! I think that the title accurately describes something that I am struggling with. And since I am a minister (even if i am an unemployed minister) that believes in being transparent (human on this journey with struggles just like everyone else), I share my struggles on my blog.

So I had an interesting conversation yesterday. The conversation has given me a lot to think about in terms of my calling. So here's the skinny.

As mentioned in my last post, I am (with several others) starting a discussion group on our lives and our spirituality in a local coffee house. I' am very excited about this group, because:
1) everybody's view and opinion will be respected
2) It is a conversation not a debate
3) we really want to hear from everyone no matter where they are spiritually
4) it is NOT a church (and we have no intention of it becoming a church); but just a bunch of people sitting around chatting about their lives!
5) It is targeted at postmodern people who have been disenfranchised by the church (altho that is not a requirement for attending)!

Basically this is an open group for people to form community not related to church. It is a place where everyone is welcome and will be respected and hopefully we will have some great discussions and def. good coffee! It is a place where everyone is free to share and explore the path they are on! No Judgement! No Conformity! Just COMMUNITY:)

of course, this is not a new idea, this is something that Emergent Village has been encouraging and doing for a while now. (here's a good podcast by Tony Jones with some explinations, and here is their whole Podcast Archive to understand more.)

Ok so, to my conversation yesterday: the argument (I mean that in the purest sense of the word, we really didn't argue!) was made that because of my passion for building authentic relationships, philosophy of ministry, my being very postmodern, that I should do what many people involved with the Emergent movement are doing: get out of the mainline church, find some other way to put food on the table, and focus my ministry on Emergent/Postmodern endeavours like this coffee house community.

I won't rehash all of the compelling points that were made, but some very good things were said to make me actually think about this (many of these things are things that I've thought about before, which makes them all the more compelling). There is a belief that the mainstream church is so set in their modern ways that who I am will always be suppressed. I will never be allowed to be who God has made me at this point in my journey in a mainstream church. (by mainstream I mean mainline denominations and established churches set in the modern paradigm).

By focusing on the Emergent ministry to the emergent world (being bi-vocational and starting an Emergent Church that focuses ONLY on postmodern ministry). I am very relational in my ministry (which is a must for postmodern ministry), and I am very experiential in my general philosophy of beliefs (that an individuals experience informs (and determines (except when ignored)) the beliefs that a person chooses to believe. There is a LOT more to that and to Emergent, as well as more to postmodern ministry that i will refrain from for space!

The down and dirty is this: that I could EASILY and NATURALLY do Emergent ministry!

The Question is this: Do I want to leave the mainstream church?

I have always been in the mainstream church (baptist, altho I align with what baptists believed historically speaking, not what the stereotypical fundamentalist baptists believe), but that should not be the reason for remaining in a mainstream church. Being postmodern, I can't use words like, "because I've always done/been," because that is what needs to change in a lot of churches. I honestly feel that I have a calling and responsibility in the mainline church to help it to grow and transition (as Tim Conders talks about in his book The Church in Transition) into the emerging culture of postmodernity!

I have many gifts that would be valuable in both settings, but one unique gift I have is that even though I am postmodern personally, I can easily SWITCH back and forth from postmodern views/approaches to modern views and approaches. That means I can come out of a coffee house open discussion group outside the church walls, and walk into the sanctuary and give a lecture type bible study! Most people are one or the other, and once they emerge into postmodernity, cannot go back to more modern paradigms.

I think there are still churches out there that are interested in Transitioning in order to still be relevant in a changing world! However, whenever there is a path like that ahead, a good guide is needed. But is it true? Can I go back into the mainline church (esp. after what the mainline church has done to me...see In Repair posts below)? Can I be accepted where and who I am in a mainline church? I hope that the answer is yes, and that these type of churches exist.

Unfortunately, many mainline churches are either dead or dying because they refuse to enter into the discussion that is going on in the secular world. Many people don't understand why numerical growth is not happening in their church because they refuse to leave the safety of their modern Christian bubble and interact with the world that is moving on without them. I'm not 100% sure where my path lies, but I'm very interested in finding out!

so there you are: my struggle! What's a boy to do?

The Mainline Church:

Cut and run, or stay the course?

addendum: for explanation on the picture please see the comments section:)

In Repair (pt. 2): answering questions i've been asked

Photo by Justin, "Sphere Within A Sphere" by Arnoldo Pomodoro

In email correspondence to Jeff @ Emergent Village, a request was made by him for me to add my voice to the conversation of Christianity, as well as the world in general, about my experience with my former church (Outlined in my previous post). I have told my story in my previous post, but now want to move along to explore some questions that Jeff left me to think about. Here is a copy of that portion of the email:

Awesome Justin, so glad to hear what's happening and to see you are earning your stripes in emerging land by being fired for trying to love someone! We need your voice in this conversation - what motivated you to befriend a gay person, how it felt to be confronted on it and then to get to the level of being fired? How it is that your faith evolved differently than your colleagues or bosses? Then the whole story in the future of how this new community evolves.

To clear up that last line, I am helping to begin an Emergent style discussion group in the Apex/Holly Springs, NC area. This group is focusing on those that have been disenfranchised by the local church, and the goal is to be a safe place to come and explore spiritual ideas based on everyone's personal experiences. This will be a SAFE place to come and join in DISCUSSION about whatever we are talking about each week without fear of being chastised if your beliefs differ from someone else's. IN FACT, we hope to draw people from all walks of spiritual life, and we hope that by SHARING ideas in a PEACEFUL COMMUNITY, that our spirituality will grow both individually and corporately. This group is not a "church", but rather a community that does not seek to become a church or compete with the Church. Again, it will be a safe haven in which to gather and openly and honestly discuss each other's lives! if you think you might be interested being a part of this type of community please email me for more info at cucamel@gmail.com).

The first question deals with my motivation in befriending a gay person. I want to say, that although my church only found and focused on a singular friend who is gay, i have several homosexual friends. Unlike most Christians I have worked with over the last 9 years in ministry, I had no ulterior motive for befriending anyone in the gay community. These people that I am friends with are simply people that I have met on my journey of life. I love them for who they are and have placed no restrictions on our friendship (meaning I do not expect them to change in order to gain my friendship! That would be a very arrogant view of myself and the value of my friendship)! When asked by my church if I thought homosexuality is a choice, I replied that I have done the research and if you put it all together (both the credible and the not-so-credible) it comes out to 50/50%. As with all people that the Church has seemed to have forgotten (be it on purpose or not...not just homosexuals, but everyone who is in need in this world that we have a responsibility to love and aid), I accept each person as they are, without expectations or motives other than loving them and aiding in the fulfillment of their basic needs (I am speaking in the context of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs).

I believe that when we work towards the "Shema" (Deuteronomy 6:4-9), or the "Greatest Commandment" (Matthew 22:36-38), Loving God, and Loving Neighbor, with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength; that there is no room left in our lives to be judgmental! Judgment is reserved for God and God alone. I in no way want to be accused of taking that forbidden power from God. I believe that this more than implies meeting a person's basic human needs! In addition, according to my psychology background, and Maslow's Hierarchy, love/belonging IS a VERY BASIC HUMAN NEED. The Church as a whole has done a very poor job on helping to fill this need in the homosexual community. Homosexuals have become the modern day lepers whom we have cast out of the Christian life by our piety and judge mentality! So, I befriend everyone I meet in order to love them as I am supposed to love, and accept them for who they are.

Note that this is my personal belief!!!! I do not mind someone disagreeing with that belief, and as a minister I believe in teaching people to think for themselves and forming their own beliefs, not CONFORMING to mine or anyone else’s. I have never taught this in any church at which I have been a part. Note there is gray area in my theology, but I am fine living in the gray! I don't claim to know God's mind on this subject and anyone who does make such a claim is only fooling themselves into idolatrous thinking. I do not believe however, that a homosexual is going to hell, and I have been too exposed to studies in psychology and genetics that if i were to choose a side, I would choose that homosexuality is not a sin, but rather has a genetic or environmental correlation. If I am to error in my theology, I would rather err on the side that allows me to love unconditionally and free myself from a judgmental point of view! I have held this belief for a long time, and this is not simply a reaction to the church outing me for having a gay friend!

How did it feel to be confronted about this, and eventually (4 days later) being fired? Well, I have to say that I was very upset and angry at first. Mostly I was angry at the way I had been treated. However, I moved to pity. I can understand and respect someone that thinks homosexuality is a sin. I know all of the verses and "logic" used to make that case, and Conservative Evangelicals have been making their case loud and clear for years! I have to say that I was dumbfounded at the fact that anyone could be upset that I simply had a friend who was gay (my only words of defence to terry and my youth adult committee was simply "yeah, I have a gay friend, we are called to love everyone."). If we are called to love everyone, I couldn't understand the outrage of me simply having a friend who was openly gay. I have now moved to sadness and disappointment! I am disappointed that there are so many people that not only believe homosexuality is a sin (again, I respect that personal belief as I respect all personal beliefs), but to outwardly hate and judge is religious prejudice and piety at its finest! I feel sad for these people because they have been brainwashed over many years and generations into this kind of "racism". I am disappointed in our churches for not battling this kind of outdated and unchristian thinking! It is amazing how much like the pharisees American Christians have become!

As for the being fired portion of the question, I have to say being “asked to resign” (since that is how churches do it) is never easy. It has put my wife and me through more pain than we knew we could feel. We loved the people at my former church, and to be torn away like that has hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. HOWEVER, even in the midst of this, Alison and I have never been more proud of ourselves. We were able to leave with our heads held high because even in the midst of this terrible situation, everything that we said or did, we acted out of love! We did not compromise our own convictions, and we never argued or forced our beliefs on anyone! At no point do we feel like we did not honor our understanding of God, and compromise our mission to love others. That kind of pride (not pious pride, but the kind of pride when you know you weren’t selling out) brings a peace, joy, and humility like we’ve never felt before. It is this “pride”, along with our wonderful support system, that helps us through this hard time.

How it is that my faith evolved differently than your colleagues or bosses? To be honest I’m really not sure, and I hesitate to answer my gut feeling as not to sound condescending. I think that my faith has evolved because of my education. I AM NOT SAYING I AM SMARTER THAN ANYONE INVOLVED!!!!! However, I continually challenge myself and my beliefs through the publications and teachings of people who ARE far more educated than me. I give credence and respect to all beliefs and ideas that I am confronted with. I listen to what others have to say, and try to understand how their beliefs were formed in their own personal experiences. I once asked the pastor why he called out certain Christians in the academic world as being “not worth listening to” from the pulpit (among them were Spong, Crossan, and Borg). His actual statement from the pulpit was “when I see that a news program dealing with religion is going to have one of these people on as an authority, I go ahead and change the channel because I know the program isn’t worth listening to.” His answer to me was that the faith of those in the pews was too shallow, so they have to be told what and who to avoid. I asked, “isn’t it our jobs as the educators of the church to help everyone to develop a deeper ‘owned’ faith where they can listen to anyone’s views and struggle over it on their own, prayerfully? Isn’t it our job to teach them to come to us when they experience something that challenges their faith, and allow us to help them through to form their own beliefs?” The answer I received was essentially “no, it’s too hard, and they don’t want to think for themselves, they want to be told what to think!” Can I say that I disagree with that wholeheartedly?

Again, I am not saying that I am smarter than the pastor, Terry, or anyone in that church. I am humbled by the amount of things I don’t know! However, unlike MOST people who fall on the fundamentalist/conservative side (please do not read any judgment into that! In fact I hate and shy away from the use of those kinds of inaccurately used labels, but find these words needed to give the best picture of what I am going to say…), I am willing to read and listen to people whose beliefs fall all up and down the spectrum. I find it interesting how a person will call out a name in public and chastise them and their beliefs when they have never picked up a book, or sat in on a lecture by that individual. Yes, they may have heard a sermon or statement by that person, but to read a book that gives a comprehensive view of that person’s beliefs and thoughts is unthinkable. If I only read and listened to those people who agreed with me, I would never grow in my faith! I think that is the difference in where my faith is/has evolved compared to where the faith was\is in the people mentioned in part 1 of "In Repair".

I hope that this sheds some light on the questions asked, and that I have humbly added my thoughts to the conversation! IT'S OK IF YOU DISAGREE WITH ME, but please feel free to comment! If I can clarify in any way, let me know and I will do so! If you post a disagreement, you will not be met with me trying to persuade you otherwise, nor will you find me deleting your post. ALL COMMENTS ARE WELCOME HERE!

blessings,

justin

In Repair (pt. 1): what happened?

EDIT: I have changed my description referenced below... It used to read: I'm in repair..I'm not together but I'm getting there. --John Mayer  I hope this clears up any confusion.  Thanks, -j

As some may notice, I have changed the description of my blog (under the title on the left) to a quote from a John Mayer Song. I know that the quote is completely out of the context of the song's meaning, but the line kept playing over and over in my head. I think that it has meaning to me for 2 reasons. 1) because of my philosophy of ministry (that the goal of Christianity is to become the person into whom God is making us (See previous post that outlines this idea better). In essence, to become more human: meaning working towards the reconciliation with what it means (from God/Christ's standpoint) to be human.

2) The second reason the quote has held tight with me will be the purpose of this blog post. To tell the story that has in fact broken our (my wife and I) hearts and spirit. i have agonized over the posting of this story for many reasons, but the time has come upon request of several people. My disclaimer before reading forward is this: I mean no ill will towards anyone. All parties have been forgiven and are still loved. All I am concerned with is moving on and sharing my story with any that might benefit. Names have been changed, and the last thing that i wish is for harm to come upon the church in question, note that the majority of the people knew, and to my knowledge still do not know, what has happened. I will tell the story from my point of view (for it is the only point of view with which i can be accurate). And I will try to keep my conjectures to a minimum or at least warn you when we leave the area of fact and explore the desert of guesswork!

As many who know me know that i was recently the Associate Pastor and Minister of Youth at a local Baptist Church. I had been there 9 months when things fell apart. The story that follows occurred in four days! ____________________________________________________________________________________________ Day 1: Wed. June 20th
The shortened version of the story is that 1 person (Terry) decided to call a youth advisory council meeting (the adults of youth council) for June 20th and decided that he would formally attack me in front of my youth ad. Comm. (I add in here that that morning I had staff review with my pastor and he had 5 very positive points of review, and five areas to work on (which he admitted that he knew i was already improving those areas, as well as admitted that I had not been there long and how tough he realized the transition from part-time to full time, small church to med. church, and a single job description to a split job description must be.) None of which were formal complaints, but simply positive goals that we set! In no way do i claim in this situation that there were not areas that improvement could occur. I knew those areas and was already in the process of making those areas better. I do not want to send the implication that I believe myself a PERFECT minister!)

Terry had written and passed out a very harsh letter which personally blamed me for no growth at all in our youth program. The truth is that he has been to wed. night once in my 9 months there, and neither of his children have come with the exception of the eldest coming twice to help with preparation for a mission event and all three of them coming the last Wed. Night i taught in order to get their medical release forms notarized for our upcoming mission camp. Terry is a youth Sunday School teacher, but only teaches perhaps 3 times in 3 months due to the 3 person monthly rotation we were on. I sat and took notes as he berated me in front of his audience. I did cut in once or twice for explanation, but was quite angry with the way I was being humiliated and talked down to. I did not want to do or say anything that was not loving in its response! When he finished his inquisition, before i was able to calmly respond to his accusations, he called it a night and broke up the meeting. All of the complaints individually could fall under the headings of ambiguous and petty. That's not to say that they didn't warrant a response, but most came in the form of ignorance to what the youth program's purpose was (even though it is posted on line, was on the youth room wall, was spoken about in a moment for ministry from the pulpit on a Sunday morning, and was present for at LEAST one of the meetings that the youth and I spent working on putting together this missions statement), and in his understanding of growth (growth in numbers coming and number of salvations/conversions/rededications). This is not how i measure spiritual growth within a youth group.

His biggest complaint (and the one that ultimately played the biggest role) was that someone had told him that I had a gay friend on myspace. The only way to know this person was gay was to go to that person's myspace account and look at his personal page of which i have no control. Note that i was neither advocating nor advertising my position on the issue, i simply had a friend and if you clicked on his myspace page you could see that he was openly gay. I was told by Terry that, "that needs to be deleted, and I mean tonight!" AI went home and deleted my entire myspace account that same night out of respect for both the friend and Terry, although I did not agree with this ultimatum.

Day 2: Thurs. June 21st
On Thurs morn. I had a meeting with the pastor (Brad) about what had happened the night before without Brad being present. I gave him a copy of the letter from Terry, as well as my word for word notations i had made of statements that Terry had said. I had already made up my mind on how I was going to move forward with this when the pastor proceeded to give me 2 options: 1) "as the pastor and your supervisor i would tell you to make this negative into a positive. call Terry and talk with him, stick close to him and make him your best friend. Since he is a chaperoning your mission trip next week I would be by his side everywhere but the bathroom and then i would be talking to him through the door." This is in fact the decision i had already made. However, i was curious to the second option that I had not thought about. His statement confounded me: 2) "If I were a friend that you called up 5 years from now and you were in this situation and I were somewhere else and new who the people were, I would probably tell you to put out your Resume ."
I thought this strange advice, but he kept pushing me towards the first option which i was more interested in because i don't give up easily and am able to take criticism well. My response to both the pastor and terry about having a Gay friend was simply that we were to love everyone no matter what! I chose option #1 (although I have to admit that option number 2 was lurking since I was starting to see some inconstancies in how the pastor and the church were both presented to me in my interview process. There had been several times where I had been disappointed in the way things were handled and decisions that were made for various reasons, but none major enough to leave over.)

I immediately left the pastor's office and went into my own to call Terry. I told him that even though i did not agree with the way the situation was handled, I wanted us to move forward and i wanted to discuss some of his more ambiguous statements in his letter. I told him I would like his input and would like us to work towards getting on the same page and working to move forward past this incident. I was very nice and polite, and even told him that I had deleted my myspace (which he had given me the ultimatum to delete my friend the previous night, but instead I decided to delete the entire account). He was very nice and polite too! He happily said that he thought my suggestion to get together and move forward was a great idea! I later found out that he called at least 2 other families with youth that same day, that he knew would side with him. In other words, he lied to me over the phone!

I got a call Thurs. night from the pastor saying "we don't do things in the dark here at this church. I would like to bring in the head of deacons and the head of personnel tomorrow (fri.) to discuss the situation." I said I thought that was a great idea, and after hanging up I wrote up a 5 page talk points sheet for that meeting discussing the youth program, what has gone successful in 9 months (as well as the success my relational approach has had in my previous job), how relational ministry is far more effective, but cannot be measured by numbers or "salvations", areas of improvement (taken right off my staff review), and ways in which I proposed to deal with the Terry situation in order to best protect the youth.

Day 3: Fri. June 22nd
Friday I sat down with the 3 men (pastor, head of deacons, and head of personnel) and Brad began the meeting by saying, "today we don't want to talk about actions or reactions because all of those things stem from something deeper: our beliefs! So we probably should have done this a long time ago, and we should probably do this for everyone we hire, but today we just want to sit and have a theological discussion." By this he meant we want to ask me a bunch of theological questions and write down my answers.

I interject here that this is the church that chose me for the job over 100+ other candidates after a long 3 hr. interview where they asked a lot of theological questions. This is the church that ordained me, where Brad went with me to the local Baptist Association and sat through my ordination council for almost 2 hrs, where I had trained people grill me on my theology! After I walked out of the Ordination Recommendation interview, before they called me back in to give me their decision on recommending me to my church for ordination, Brad told me he had never seen anyone answer ordination/theology questions as well as I had just then. When they called us back in they said, "no one on this council has ever done this before, but we are highly impressed! We give you the highest recommendation possible, with no reservations and no areas of suggested improvement because you are very aware what areas in your theology are still growing, and you continually research and tackle those areas with diligence!" I was highly honored! All this, and added to it the countless theological discussions i had had with Brad over the 9 months, where more than once he told me that he would not lose respect for me if we disagreed on an issue, but would in fact lose respect for me if I felt like I had to conform to everything he believed.

Back to the theology meeting: I asked how asking me about my theology would improve the situation with Terry. Brad said, "I don't know. I can't see into the future to tell you what will happen, but once we do this we can move forward. this will help us to better understand and come to a decision." I then had a funny feeling and asked if my job was in jeopardy according to my answers. Brad looked at the other two men on each side of him and then said, "Again I can't say yes or no to that, we just want to sit here and have a theological discussion." At that point I thought I knew what was going to happen, so i slid my talk point notes under my folder and allowed them to ask me theology questions for over an hour, many of them so broad that no matter how I answered the intpretation could easily mean something completely different from what I truly believe if the question would have been phrased more directly. (an example: "do you believe in a literal Hell?" (what exactly does a literal hell mean? is the word "hell" in the bible? yes it is literally there? Do it is a place of fire and brimstone? what about the translation of the word Hell back to the original language. what is my view on if people go to hell when they die?... see the ambiguity and broadness of the question? (my answer by the way was simply "sure")). Immediately after they finished talking to me they went into the pastor's office and (behind closed doors, after saying we do nothing in the dark) decided my fate, or more likely, (and this is conjecture)figured out how to use my answers to justify asking for my resignation. I say this because they only met for less than 30 min.

Day 4: Sat. June 23
As I knew would happen, I went in Sat. and met again with the 3 men. I met them in the pastor's office where Brad officially asked for my resignation. I found out then that Terry and 2 other families had threatened to take their youth out of the mission trip if i went. I understood then that the pastor had been put in a tough situation, thus my conjecture as to why the theological questioning and interpretation approach was taken. I took it gracefully and without argument. I did this so well that, in the end, Brad said in front of the 2 other men that i had shown more maturity than anyone he'd ever seen in that sort of situation and had shown maturity well beyond my years. I feel now that this was a backhanded compliment meaning that i had played ball and not caused a fuss. The OFFICIAL reasoning for asking for my resignation was "theological differences and simply not a match". I agreed with the not a match, in part because of the way I had been treated and felt like i was being sacrificed. To this day my wife and I have not been told the real reason for their asking me to leave. (warning: guessing): We have a lot of circumstantial evidence that points to Brad sacrificing me to cover his own job, in addition to/or, keeping the church from having to face the issue of homosexuality (although again my stance when asked was not being judgmental and being called to love EVERYONE no matter what! I said that Judgment is reserved for God alone, and if i stay away from being judgmental, then i am free to love others unconditionally!). But that is no more than speculation based on circumstantial evidence that i have gathered.
There is no official church stance on that issue, although if it were to become an issue there would probably have to be one! From other things i do know about, I know that the issue would probably split the church, and they would lose members on one side or the other. However, that is a sad reality of growth, change, and being aligned with the Southern Baptist Convention as this church is.

I was asked to leave immediately. no telling the youth, no reading my letter of resignation to the congregation, and i was even told when i asked to call my most invloved youth workers that they would prefer that i not contact anyone! The joke was made, "we would prefer you not to contact anyone, but what can we do if you do? Fire you?" I refused to write my resignation on paper in his office but said i would type it up and send it to him or drop it by (which I have yet to do because i do not know what to write). I was assured that there was no issue of immorality or impropriety on my part in their asking for my resignation. I have this part as well as the official reason I was asked to resign in writing signed by the pastor and on his personal letterhead.

I was never told exactly what the theological differences are, even after I asked for them listed in writing. He has always been vague and ambiguous in his reasoning for my resignation. Again, I was asked to leave and not contact anyone including the youth or youth workers. My assumption is that they didn't want me to tell anyone because they didn’t want what really happen to be heard for reasons mentioned above.

I have on tape the explanation of what was at the next day's service where I mysteriously was not present. At the end of the service where the pastor stated that there were theological differences, the committees had met and had to make some tough decisions, and my resignation had been accepted. He focused most of the time on saying, "there will be NO gossip! NO parking lot committees, and NO dragging anyone's name through the mud. This will not be discussed." Here again is this order to keep quiet, only this time it was to a Baptist congregation who has EVERY reason to ask questions and know what happened.

It saddens me some of the calls that i received. Most of these calls were well meant, but because of the situation the words hit me like a bullet! "We don't know what happened and we don't want to know. But we want you to know how much you have meant to us and how much we care about you." was the main comments i heard. I was frustrated 1) because being Baptist you have the right and responsibility to know what has happened in your church! 2) because the statement left open the assumption that these people thought that I had done something wrong when in fact i had done nothing wrong in these four days! It kills me to think that those that drug me down in a VERY unchristian manner (we believe for ego and power reasons, but could not prove it. It is simply based upon what we know of these people and their life systems, analyzed by both of our psychology degrees), are not being held accountable for what they have done to my wife and I when we both acted very Christlike...even to the point of walking willingly into my sacrifice.

Again, I want to end by saying that we are seeking closure and healing. My wife and I both are "in repair...we're not together but we're getting there". Please do not go out of your way to figure out who is who, and if you do know who I am referring to I ask out of a Christian love towards them that you not spread the names to others. I know that there are things that I don't know that was said behind closed doors and in the dark. But again, I was never given a chance to correct any genuine complaints, which leaves me to believe that there were NO genuine complaints that could have been corrected. Instead, i have now become another in the growing statistic of churches who have kicked good people out for the wrong reasons!

Essays on my Beefs pt.2

Again a response to the discussion mentioned in the last post:

Ok, so I’ve already stated one thing that irritates me about Christianity and Christians. So we know that a majority of them can’t (or won’t) think for themselves. This means that they blatantly ignore when Christians and the Church are not fulfilling their responsibilities. One big thing that the majority of American Christians are ignoring is their responsibility for Social Justice.

So, I’ve been thinking about this one for a while. Why is it that we as Americans; the wealthiest country in the world, continue to allow injustice to happen all around us. Sure we will freakin bomb and invade a country for oil and economical gain (like the US needs that anyway), but we do very little to right other injustices around the world and (gasp) within our own boarders!

There are way too many social injustices in the world today to name, but a few that come to mind are world hunger/poverty, genocide, racism, torture, etc… and the list goes on. Now I just got kicked out of a church because some “Christians” had a problem with me having a friend that was gay listed on my myspace. In fact I had to delete the entire site to appease these people, and still was fired over it. Homosexuality!?! Really? I mean c’mon, I know that is a hot-button issue, but why not get riled up about something that you can actually make a difference in. All the time spent by these people to figure out some way that having a gay friends and “loving them as my neighbor” was somehow unchristian (the minister living in a glass box analogy was used, but I thought I WAS making a theological statement by having that person as a friend. (Granted I have no control over what other people have on their myspace site, but at least I was allowing that person to be himself and not conform before I befriended him!) I sit and think, all that time those few people spent creatively figuring out how to justify getting rid of me because I was a threat… what if they had used that time to creatively figuring out how to solve a real social justice issue!!! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not belittling the way Christians treat homosexuals, and I do believe that is a true social justice issue that should be addressed, but those people won’t change their mind about that issue, so I would think there is more hope getting them to focus on another issue that they can’t sit the fence on like world poverty.

My point in all of this is to say what makes me so irritated at Christians, and at times ashamed to call myself one (because of the actions or inactions of those who proudly display the title), is the fact that they will put so much effort into something so nominal, but so little time on accepting and working towards their other Kingdom-Building responsibilities. Why is it that all of my sermons seem to be geared towards the theme of “get off your butt and do something”. We can’t come to church one day a week and call passive participation in the various Sabbath rituals “worship”, if the actions of our lives the other six days are not kingdom-building in nature, and thus truly worship! This may be a faulty belief, but I think that true worship starts well before you walk through the vestibule on Sunday mornings. Kingdom-building is rooted in Social Justice.

've been re-reading Marcus Borg’s Reading the Bible Again for the First Time, and he makes a really good statement when talking about the Exodus as Israel’s Identity story:Isreal’s “primal narrative” is the story of radical protest against and liberation from [the agrarian empire (10% wealthy and the rest in bondage, slavery, poverty, peasantry)], and it affirms the radical criticism of and liberation from such societies is the will of God. Moreover, the radical economic legislation of the Pentateuch was designed to prevent such a world from reemerging. (see economic laws of Deut. 15:1-18 and Lev. 25). (Borg p.104)

He goes on to say that when God states in Exodus 20 that “I am the Lord your God, who has brought you out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery,” and that the “exodus story is not about Social Justice without God; equally it is not about God without Social Justice. .. Ancient Israel’s primal narrative brings together two areas of life that [Christians] tend to separate: religious passion and social justice, God and this-worldly liberation. “ (p.105).

So this brings me to my point: what is our role as Christians within this current American regime in terms of Social Justice? I think that is the same question that this group is exploring. According to Borg’s (as well as others like Brueggemann) assessment of our religious creation (for this being Israel’s creation story as a nation, and we were historically Jews before we were Christians) It is our RESPONSIBILITY and DUTY as followers of God and Builders of his Kingdom to be radically critical and involved in the liberation process of social Justice. While preachers in America stand behind their podium with their expensive suits and lapel mikes clipped to their silk ties, preaching the Hell into people (in order to get them to say a prayer to get them out). They never get around to taking part in the work of Social Justice in the world, nor do they (and I’m implicating not just ministers, but American Christians in general) hold our government accountable for its role in the global realization of Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. Christians, just like most Americans, are content with enjoying our freedoms and luxuries while so much of this world is being denied these basic human rights; many by our own hands! I never thought that by association, I could both be ashamed to go by the title as Christian and American at the same time.

Essays on my Beefs pt.1

These Blogs are a response to a discussion group that I am in on facebook that discusses Christianity's role in the American Government, and thus in the world at large.

This spicific discussion is entitled: Its Time to Ask the Question: "What Should We Resist?", with the topic statement, "what pisses you off about Christianity in America?"
This and any further "Essays on my Beefs" will relate to this topic and/or group discussion in general. I thought I would post it here for more of the general (non-facebook) public to see. Feedback is more than welcome!
-justin

first thing off the top of my head!!!how people blindly follow!!! the majority of modern Christians can't think for their selves! What urks me even more is the fact that, when my previous pastor and I talked about this very issue, he took the approach that "since they can't think for their selves, and won't take the time to even try to think on their own, it is our job as ministers to protect them." this means telling them what to believe and even throwing out the names of scholars whom are respected in the world of Academia, who regularly appear on religions news/documentaries as experts of opinion on the subject. He would throw a name out (like Spong or Crossan to name couple) and say, "whenever i see that this person or that person is going to be on that religious topical program, i quickly turn it off."

This sends the message to the blind followers not to listen to any ideas of these people and decide for yourself if you agree with their points or not! I responded to his approach by arguing that it is our jobs as the leaders and teachers of the church to EDUCATE the people to think critically so that they don't have to be told what to believe. I believe that this is foundational in having an owned faith and instrumental to being able to follow God's call in their individual lives. This of course was shot down!

Now onto the subject of government & religious responsibility in America. I think that there is a correlation between our indoctrination techniques in churches and the willingness to blindly follow our government without question simply because the person in power has a podium in front of him when he tells the nation what to think! Perhaps that is a fundamental job of the church (and thank God for postmodernity) to teach people to question EVERYTHING!!! To educate others to understand that the people behind the podium (be it in church or in our government) is not infallible (although yes i know that language is not used towards a person, but the actions of the multitude indicate otherwise), and can in fact be wrong! It is the responsibility of the citizen (be it the Citizen of the Kingdom of God, or the Kingdoms on earth) to hold those in charge accountable and to not blindly accept and support what is said. Instead, the person of power and the words that were spoken should be weighed and bathed in prayer and against the "scripture"/ tradition of that (for lack of better words) institution. (Scripture/tradition for Christians= Bible, scholars, and fathers&mothers of the faith! Scripture/tradition for our Government= Constitution, bill of rights, and the spirit set forth by our founding fathers and the leaders or early democracy!)

Reculturing: The Process of Rebuilding the Underlying Culture of Youth Ministry

(painting by: Nick Wilson)

I am currently working towards reculturing the OCBC Youth Group; and one place I am beginning is by evaluating the purposed of our Wed. Night lessons/meetings besides discovering what it means to be a disciple. below is both my church newsletter article on my thoughts followed by the rough draft of a Mission Plan (more than a mission statement but less than a thesis:)) please feel free to leave me any of your thoughts and feedback.. please remember this is a rough draft of a long process, any observations and opinions WILL be taken into consideration. thanx, justin.

The Ascent: Renaming Wed. Night Youth

We have recently renamed the Wed. night discipleship portion of our Youth group. Understand that our purpose statement and understanding of this new direction are still being discussed and prayed about and are subject to tweaks and changes. The renaming of Wed. night came about as a result of observation of this specific youth group, their current role in the church and community around them, as well as my own personal philosophy of Youth Ministry (as well as ministry in general).

I encourage everyone to take time to walk up to the youth room and see The Ascent’s thematic painting that was done by Nick Wilson. It captures visually what we are trying to accomplish practically. The name the ascent incorporates the points listed below as well as a metaphor for all that we want to accomplish.

I believe that each person is a unique individual, with unique gifts and talents given to us by God. The purpose of our life journey, in my opinion, is to become the person into whom God is making each of us. We will all look different from each other, but our goal should be to become the person that God is training us to be. To become the disciples that he is calling us to be!

The picture of the ascent is of 2 people climbing a mountain. Their goal is to reach the peak. At the apex lies the person the person into whom God is making the climber; the plan that God has for that journeyman. Climbing this mountain is much like climbing Mt. Everest… It is not an easy goal, but the journey and experience is well worth the trouble. Many are asked why they would do something as dangerous as try to reach the peak of Everest. The answer is for the Experience!

It is a connection with nature, with a team, and with a purpose that are the driving factors for these individuals. In the same way, it is important that the youth find points of connection with other Christians as well as with the Biblical story. The scripture reference chosen (Gen. 1:1-Today) refers to the fact that the story that God is writing about humanity and His works within the world is not over. Indeed, it is still being written in our lives today. The important part is to find (and construct) the points at which the biblical story and our personal stories intersect.

In the picture we see the first climber leaning back and offering a hand to the second climber. This represents the importance and responsibility of Community. It takes an entire team to reach the apex. It takes teamwork, and everyone pulling their own weight! It takes total Commitment from an individual and the community as a whole if all, or even one is to reach the lofty goal set before them. Each person is a portion of the whole, a part of the body. They must work together, encouraging and helping one another in order for the goal to become obtainable.

These are just some of the thoughts going into the Overall theme of The Ascent. Our mission in progress is found below. Notice that these are only the goals that are being set. The unstated question is, “How do we accomplish all of this?” Well… we come together as pilgrims on a journey each Wed. night and attempt to answer that question! Enjoy, and feedback is appreciated!

Peace and Love,

Justin

OLIVE CHAPEL YOUTH DISCIPLESHIP:

GENESIS 1:1-TODAY

Purpose Statement:

To help the youth on their journey/ascent into becoming the unique and responsible disciples/individuals into whom Christ is making them. This happens through focusing on:

1) Connections

· Young adults and teenagers today learn best through making connections and through experience. They are Experience Gatherers!

· It is important that the OCBC Youth Group be experienced based in learning-creating experiences in a safe and welcoming atmosphere.

· It is also important that the youth share their individual experiences with the group as a whole. One way to gather experience is through the experiences of others.

· Story is important! It is vital that the youth for connections with the overall story of the Bible, as well as the individual stories and teachings.

2) Community

· It is Vital that the OCBC Youth Group be seen and act as a responsible Christian Community!

· This is a smaller community within the larger community of the entire church (Olive Chapel), within the even larger community of the worldwide Church (The Overall, worldwide body of Christ)

· In this aspect, the youth should act together to understand the purpose of community, and to take seriously the responsibilities of their individual role in that community.

3) Commitment

· The Youth Group must learn the reality of being a disciple. This includes:

o Understanding the importance of spiritual growth.

o Understanding their responsibility and relationship to the world around them.

· The youth have the right to know that true discipleship is not easy; it requires commitment even in the difficult times.

· The youth must understand that at times Christ calls us to do things that seem impossible or at odds with the wishes of those around us, however, Part of being a disciple is following one’s own convictions no matter the cost.

· In order to become the person into whom Christ is trying to make them into, they must be devoted to their personal well-being, as well as the well-being of those in the community around them.

· The youth need to understand the meaning and level of sacrifice true disciples are called to make

an apology

I wanted to take the time to apologize for the lack of blog entries inthe past months. A new job, the holidays, and life in general keeps me away from the keyboard more than i like. I will say that though i have not been blogging, that doesn't mean that i havn't been writing. my trusty moleskine has been by my side faithfully as events are observed all around me. I have much to tell, and i hope to write soon.

I am also switching to the new blogger beta, so we'll see how that works out. Much needs to be updated on my site and i hope to have this done very soon. come back soon to read my rants, and leave your feedback and opinions. thanks for your patience and support
justin

My Family Story

I’ve actually written this blog many times in my own mind. I’ve tried several catchy ways to start it off, collected many puns, invented witty remarks, but in the end none of it has achieved the goal that I set out for. So I have reverted back to the simple power of story. This is my story, from my point of view, but is a tale that I feel needs to be told as I am working through my own emotions and understandings of this story, and how (in a theological sense) this story merges with my story of my Christian walk.

When I was 15 my mother sat me down in my room to have a serious talk with me. At first I was afraid because I thought my parents finally built up the nerve to have “the sex talk” with me. Yeah I know, most 15 year-olds already know way too much about sex, but that doesn’t stop parents from being naive about their child’s naivety on the subject.

Anyway, it was a narrow escape, but that wasn’t what my mom wanted to talk to me about. I could never have prepared myself for what she was about to tell me. She told me that the person that I had always known as my father was not my real father. Long story short (because there are many details that are still unclear), my mom gave birth to me and my father was never in the picture. I know that many questions arise from the ambiguity of that summary, but know that there are many queries that I still have, yet I’m not sure I am ready, or, for that matter, will ever be ready to hear. So, I fall safely to the understanding that my father and mother were young and that mistakes and injudicious decisions were made.

Needless to say, this news came as a shock to me. I know that this happens and is not a rare occurrence in this day and age, yet I couldn’t help to take it as a shock when the life i had always known seemed, at least for a couple of days, to be a farce. I was 15 years old, my world while not turned upside down, was still knocked awkwardly askew. I made the decision not to search for my real dad (between my resources being limited and a shaky relationship with my adoptive father), and instead went about with my life as if nothing changed. Eventually the new information was filed away in the back of my head and was no longer an issue.

Fast forward now to the summer where I am taking classes between my Jr. and Sr. year of college. I get a call from my mother with disturbing news. My real father has now passed away from massive heart failure at the age of 41. My mom, audibly upset, not only breaks the news to me, but makes several calls to find out the particulars about his funeral. When she calls back I am in the midst of trying to figure out how to get ahold of my professors and how to get out of class for a couple of days. The thoughts of blame and guilt had already started seeping into my brain and I had begun cursing myself for never getting around to finding and meeting my real father. Now I would never have the chance to meet him and tell him that I held no ill will towards him. I had always felt like he deserved to hear that from me because no one should go through life with the guilt of a bad decision if there is someone who can relieve him or her of that burden. I honestly held no contempt towards my father or mother for the mistakes that were made.

What I did not consider, however, is that my real father would have made a life and family for himself. I don’t know why I had never considered this, I guess it was because I had never seen a picture and up until the phone call about his death, my mom and I never discussed it. Thus, when my mom relayed the particulars of the funeral to me, she broke some more shocking news: I had a younger brother and sister. All of the sudden I had to make a decision. I didn’t know if they knew about me, and if they didn’t, I didn’t want my presence to place any questions or thoughts in their heads that would potentially ruin the wonderful memories of their father that they held. So I made the decision not to attend the funeral because of that, and because of classes.

I often beat myself up for this decision, along with the decision not to find him to begin with. It is a hardship that I struggle deeply with because I chose to miss out on a lot of things on which I will never get a second chance . I will never get a chance to know my real father and the person he became. Although admitedly curious, I really don’t care what happened for him not to be a part of my life. I don’t care about the man that he was at that one moment in his history. What I DO care about was the man that he had become. I question and analyze my choices; my excuses to never meet my real father. It is scary how fast “too late” came knocking at my door.
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Now here I am at 26 years-old and again my life has changed; this time in a more wonderful and hopeful way. My brother and sister found out about me soon after our father's death and eventually convinced their mother to track me down. I got a call from her asking if I was interested in meeting my brother and sister. Unlike the previous bad decisions I made about not seeking my dad, I was exhilarated by the opportunity to meet them. I quickly found out that my brother (18) is a freshman at the same college where I received both my undergrad and Masters Degrees. I also found out that I had a 15 year-old sister that is a sophomore in High School.

As I have met them, I have begun to fall in love with them. I have talked to my brother several times (AIM, phone, and in person), and until yesterday had only talked to my sister only on Instant Messenger. Yesterday I was privileged enough to meet her and her family in person at my brother’s homecoming at school. It was one of the best days of my life! I feel like I’ve known them more than a month, and it is amazing (and kind of scary) how much he 3 of us are alike.

Life is moving on, and I can’t help but to want to put my life on hold and spend all of my time getting to know them. I feel like I have missed out on soo much not knowing them over the years (something else to beat myself up over). Sadly though, our lives must go on, and all I can do is hope that over the years they will allow me to build a relationship with the both of them that will make up for all of the years lost. I couldn’t ask for 2 more receptive and open people to have as a long-lost brother and sister. They have been so kind and accepting of me although they have no reason to be. I know that we are related by blood, but in this day and age that means so little to most families (luckily my siblings and the mafia are an exclusion: ) .

So where am I now emotionally? Overwhelmed and confused are the best words I know to describe it. I have yet to sort completely through my feelings about the situations. I am ecstatic about the possibilities and the relationships I am building with my siblings. However, always lurking is the oppressing guilt that is hiding in the shadows. I am getting to know my father through his children, but I still will never know the man in person. I will hear stories and I have seen pictures, but that is far from capturing the flesh and blood that they grew up knowing. I wish I had known him. I wish I had more than a month’s worth of memories and experience with my brother and sister, but it IS all that I have. All I can do is keep going and hope that they will allow me to make up for lost time with them. All I can do about my father is hear their memories and see the emotion and love in their faces and try to paint my own picture of my father using their words as my brush.

I am thankful that God has opened this door in my life. I am thankful for the opportunity to fall in love with 2 wonderful people that I have never known. I am thankful for the fact that my younger brother and sister are better people than I am, because, unlike my decision to put off finding my father and getting to know him, they are smarter and bolder and they took the initiative in finding and getting to know me. My only hope is that I don’t let them down and that I can be the brother they want me to be!

Waitin on the World to Change

Disclaimer: I in no way am speaking on behalf of John Mayer. These thoughts, opinions and interpretations are mine and mine alone!-justin

If you have not heard "Waiting on the World to Change", please listen to the song before reaading!
The song/video can be found here: http://johnmayer.com/index.cfm
The lyrics can be found here: http://www.moron.nl/lyrics.php?id=83928&artist=John%20Mayer

_________________________________________________________________
Many people know that I connect with John Mayer’s music. His music has always to me, been an honest and open communication that resonates with my personal life and our generation!

His newest single: “Waiting on the World to Change” is another song that truly strikes a chord with the way that I feel many times in my life! This song is easily and overtly political. I respect Mr. Mayer’s political stance, and agree with many of his political positions, however, in this specific Blog, I want to take a more general and personal approach to this song. You see connection for me between the song and my personal life does not confine itself to just the political arena!

The song (in my own opinion) is about how our generation (Gen. X; those in their mid 20’s to early 30’s), suffers from a loss of respect. We are adults! However, the world ignores us because of our age and (in their eyes) inexperience. Our American world truly does belong to the baby boomers.

However, contrary to most of the older generation’s understanding of us, we are not worthless in this world. Yes, we do have ideas and opinions, but often times those don’t matter. I think that Mr. Mayer has hit the nail on the head when he concludes his song with the lyrics:
“One day our generation is gonna rule the population,
So we keep on waiting on the world to change.”

In my life, not only in the ministry, but I’ve found, dealing with ay institution, my own personal ideas and opinions are not valued and most of the time not even given an ear or consideration! Yet, it is my generation that sees that the world is changing. Change does not scare us; in fact many of us embrace it. It is true that we are a nostalgic group who remembers our past, but we are willing to embrace the changing world, and more importantly, ADAPT to fit it. One observation about our generation is that we want to play a part in the world. We want to make the world a better place because we can see the sufferings and suppression of those in places outside of the U.S.! We think globally, we atypically, and we think outside of the box!

Many call the outspoken people of our generation liberals because we don’t buy in to the status quo of our society! I argue that we are being misjudged and mislabeled. We just have different ideas, concerns, and perspectives from our parents. We try to understand the world not only through our own interaction with it, but also through the eyes and stories of others. Because of what drives us, and because of our sensitivity to other people in different circumstances, we are the ones coming up with, what others call, wild and crazy ideas! However, we are pushed aside, held back, and silenced because ideas seem to crazy to work. Unfortunately, it is the “craziness” of our ideas that makes our ideas more effective than some of the current policies and programs.

Working in churched, I have seen many of my ideas scoffed at and completely overlooked. Many times, when sharing my atypical approaches to ministry, my words fall on deaf ears. Yet, in settings where people with extraordinary atypical approaches to ministry and to life are given a chance, wonderful and amazing things happen. People’s lives are EFFECTED! Think of what kind of world we would have if everyone listened to this huge generation a little bit more! The possibilities are endless!

However, the sad truth is that we have yet to inherit the world. Yes we are legally considered adults, but to our parents and grandparents we are still just wild-eyed kids.
To them, we don’t take responsibility seriously, when the truth is that while we are still light-hearted and adventurous, we take our roles in this world as seriously as you will let us! We shouldn’t have to wait to inherit the earth, because I would like to have a say in the world I inherit. Again, John Mayer’s words will probably always ring true. We will have to continue to wait on the world to change. We’re waiting on the world to change!

The City of Blinding Lights

(Photo by Justin Bowman)
“The more you see the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now”
-U2 City of Blinding Lights

All I can say is that I love New York! I never really traveled much growing up, but the one place that I always wanted to go was NYC. I used to dream that one day I would move away and live in the big apple because the more I saw and read of NY, the more I was intrigued and wooed by the singing sirens of the city.

I have now had my dreams fulfilled by visiting NY not once, but twice in the last year. I thought that visiting the city would satiate my craving once and for all, but I have found that the more I have seen, the more there is to see!

Bono sings about this very feeling in The City of Blinding Lights. I feel the same way, now that the more I’ve seen, the less I feel like I know about the city in all of its aspects. I have been overwhelmed by what I have seen and heard, for there is something so magical about the place. After two visits I have fallen even more in love with the beauty of the city.

My wife would say, “What’s beautiful about a place that has soo little grass?” and I think that many people would prefer to travel to see natural beauty, like the Grand Canyon, than the canyons of concrete, steel and glass. But there is something beautiful about it! Seeing the color reflected off of the faces of the people in times square at night, or watching friends and families play together in central park! We went one night to a rooftop restaurant and had a view of many buildings (Empire State, Met Life, and Chrysler Bldng.) from twenty stories up. The night was beautiful, and so was the view!

However, it is more than the architecture and flashiness that draws me to this city of blinding lights. It is also the people. The people captivate me, and I can literally sit there and people watch for hours on end. It amazes me how many people there are and how little interaction there is. You pass hundreds of people every day without a smile, a hello, or even a touch unless it is someone bumping into you on the sidewalk. Not only is this the city of blinding lights, but it is the city of ipods, solitude, and loneliness. How is it that one can be around soo many people, yet at the same time be so lonely?

Yet i realize that you can't blame the city for this! People everywhere are becoming more and more isolated. It is just so much easier to see in the city. Why do we do this? When we have a basic need for others, why do we barricade ourselves off from those things that we need most? hmmm...a topic for another day!

The city captivates me because people captivate me. I love people! I love getting to know people. I am addicted to trying to understand people, and psychology and biology can only explain so much about humanity. The more I see of people, the less I feel like I know. The more I learn the more I realize that I knew much more about people and about this wonderful city (at least I thought I did before I interacted with the city) than I do now! This city, just like people, remains a mystery to me. The more time I spend with each, the more I realize that there is a lot more to experience, observe, and understand. I can't wait to get the chance to do it again!

“oh you look so beautiful tonight,
In the city of blinding lights.”

Plugging the Blogger Buddies

While I am hard at work on my next post, I thought that I would draw your attention to a new Blog site that i have linked to under Blogger Buddies. This is the Blog of my best friend, Jamie, who will be leaving the good-ol US of A for a whole year! He is heading to Peru as a missionary for a year. I am both excited for him and sad at his departure. I talked him into blogging so that We can keep up with him while he is gone! Please check out his Blog regularly, as well as the other Blogger Buddies in my links! Come back soon for an update to my Blog!

Jamie's Blog: Mi Vida en Peru (My Life in Peru) http://www.missionmindedtarheel.blogspot.com/

fighting our fear

We have recently been spending time individually with our five newly adopted nieces. The other day we had one that had never been roller-skating. Alison and I decided to take her to our local skating rink only to find that after 15 minutes of trying to teach her to roller-skate she realized that she was too scared to try to learn any longer. We kept telling her that the key to learning to skate was simply to let go of the person holding you, get out there, and do it! The goal is to stop thinking and analyzing and to simply get out on the floor! Before you know it, you will be skating and will feel a wonderful sense of accomplishment!

Our wonderful niece, like most children, allowed her fear to rule her decision-making abilities. We offered to tighten her skates for her to make it easier, but by that time fear had its hold and would not let go. Instead, we went home and her and Alison baked cookies because our niece knew how to do that and was comfortable doing it!

Is there any Christian correlation to this? I think so! For many centuries most of Christianity has taken on the attitude of being Reactive as apposed to being proactive! The one thing that I herald more than anything else in the teachings of Christ is the building of the Kingdom of God (KOG). All of my life the KOG has been referred to as heaven- something that happens in the afterlife. However, if we look carefully Christ is quite ambiguous about the KOG. At times he refers to the KOG as something that will happen in the future; perhaps heaven perhaps not, but there are many occurrences where he refers to the KOG as being “at hand”.

“At hand”? What does that mean… it doesn’t exactly mean already here, but it doesn’t necessarily mean something in the far off future either. When Christ speaks of the KOG, many times he is referencing something that is being built. When Christ entered into the world, one of his messages and purposes was to begin the foundation of the KOG through his teachings, and then to had over the project to God’s children to build the KOG here on earth!

This is a PROACTIVE task. It is the charge to make the world a better place! It is the responsibility that we all have to make this world look like the picture of the KOG that Christ painted. We are really good at being reactive in this world! When someone decides that they are pro-choice, against the death penalty, supporting the rights of homosexuals, or support any other number of hot button moral issues that many Christians see as amoral, they RE-act in outrage. Sadly, this is really the only times when we hear about Christians in the media.

We are not supposed to be reactive, but proactive! These above mentioned moral agendas are meager at best from a biblical basis (although I know many would argue with that statement, so be it), especially when compared to the proactive charges given by Christ. Christ doesn’t speak on Gay marriage, but he speaks a lot about helping those who can’t help themselves! He speaks a great deal about the poor, meek, needy, and oppressed. Yet we really don’t hear much about Christians out there (Bono excluded) working to end world poverty/hunger, helping Aids victims in Africa, or even working to get the homeless in their local community off of the street and into a self-sufficient way of life!

Instead, we remain reactive because we are scared! It takes trust and (gasp) faith to go out on a limb and be proactive and make a difference in the world around us! Like our niece and roller-skating, it is easier to give up, go home and bake cookies from pull-apart dough than it is to stay on the floor, let go of our hand and learn to skate.

It is easier to yell at the daily clips on Fox news and agree with the Right Wing that Gay Marriage is Bad, than it is to go out and befriend the Gay community who is being oppressed in the name of Christianity! I am not trying to make a moral argument in that statement; I only use it to ask which of those two actions work towards building the KOG? One is reactive, while one is proactive. One is easy and comfortable, while the other requires faith, a level of awkwardness, and most importantly ACTION!

One of my favorite passages accredited to Jesus is found not in the canon of the Bible, but in the Gospel of Thomas:
“His disciples said to him, ‘when will the kingdom come?’ Jesus said, ‘It will not come by waiting for it. It will not be a matter of saying, ‘here it is’ or ‘there it is.’ Rather, the kingdom of the father is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it.’”
(Saying 113)

When we call ourselves Christians, and operate only in the safe realm of the reactive, then we continue to blemish the Christian name because truly to follow Christ is to operate proactively in this world and do our part in building the KOG! Stop acting out of fear, and begin to act out of faith!!!!