Something Just Feels A Little Off...

My wife had one of her most embarrassing moments last weekend. We were at the movies and were running a little late. In fact, the previews had already stated and I don’t like to be late to movies. Well, at Crossroads20 it is convenient to go to the bathroom before the movie because you can go in one door from the main lobby and come out another door where the theatres are. As usual, she told me to wait on her on the other side, but I wasn’t paying attention. A preview in the lobby had caught my attention as she walked away. It was only for a second that I looked away before I continued on to the men’s room (left to go into the men’s’ room, right to go into the women’s).
Anywho, as I walked into the men’s room I thought I caught a fleeting glance at what looked like Alison going into a stall. I could have sworn it was her blue jacket. I said, “Nah,” and went about my business at the urinal.
As I was washing my hands, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it had been Alison that went into that stall. Sure enough in the mirror, you could see her flip-flops and newly manicured toenails under the stall. I didn’t know what to do. I dried my hands and walked out to see the manager of the theater standing outside watching people come out. I decided then and there that I needed to distance myself from the inevitable. People were going to see Alison coming out of the men’s room and I didn’t want to be seen with her!
Sure enough, she comes strolling out, stops looks behind her as the manager and the woman coming out of the women’s restroom start to laugh. Her face turns bright red as she said, “I just totally went to the wrong bathroom, didn’t I?”
We laughed about it for a long time, but I had to ask her how it happened. I mean we go to the movies at that theatre all the time. She was dumbfounded. I then asked her, “when you walked in, I assume that the ladies’ room is the mirror image of the men’s (minus the urinals), didn’t you feel like something was wrong?” She said, “now that you mention it, it did seem a little backwards, but I had to go so I didn’t take time to think about what was wrong.”

I use my poor wife’s experience (with her permission) as an example of how I think I feel about Church. When I look at a church and what it is doing, most of the time I can’t help but feel like something’s a little off, like the way Churches are is a little backwards from the way it should be. I see two kinds of churches mostly: The latent church and the zealous church.
The latent churches have a lot of potential, but are absorbed too much in themselves. Yes, they may get out into the community occasionally to do something, but they are more concerned with people coming to them. Yes, they worship God, and yes, they may have some good programs, but the only access to the church is if you are on the inside. Usually theses churches are focused only on their own needs as a church and simply forget to, or refuse to be a part of the world around them.

Then I also see the zealous church. This is the active church that does as much as it can to convert others to Christianity. They are masters at going door to door, mailing or giving out tracks, or pushing their members at every opportunity to evangelize. These churches acknowledge the community around them, but are a counter-culture within the world. This is where the mass marketing of Christianity comes in. The world is sinful; we must convert the world to our world. This world includes only Christian music, books, fish on your car for every person in your family, Christian t-shirts, etc…
The theory is that the Church will create a world that is more Christian, and we will convert as many people as possible to our counter-culture and they will in effect be a better Christian because of it.

In my opinion, neither is achieving the great commission. I’m not saying that everything that every church does is wrong. Yes, some churches are trying hard to do the right thing. I am also not saying that either type of these churches are without good intentions. But, like Alison I can’t help but get the feeling that something is off, something is backwards.
Which brings me to my previous Blog. The U2 song has really gotten me to think about how I approach the un-churched/non-believer. We try so hard to get people to become Christian, but they can’t believe what we so strongly adhere to because they don’t see the Church fulfilling their needs. Yes, people have spiritual needs, but they also have other needs, and we are so caught up in “being spiritual”, that we don’t even think about dropping crumbs off our table. I can’t say I blame them. If the church is not out amongst the people in the world, if it is creating its own counter-culture instead of working in the world God has given to us, how can we expect to do the great things that Jesus told his disciples that they would be able to do?

“For we speak of signs and wonders
But we all need something other
They would believe if they were able
But they’re waiting on the crumbs from our table”

crumbs of thought

Hey all,
While working out what my next blog would be about, i decided to take a break and play some guitar. I was listening to U2 and heard this song. For some reason i had to play it over and over agian. I thought i would post the lyrics and get some feedback on the meaning of the song. It spoke to me and my feelings about the the priorities of the Church. I could be way off, but somehow i think that i'm not. IDK! anyway, i think that this will be relevant to my next post so until then, ponder these words and let me know, and we'll see where we get to. more to come!

Crumbs From Yor Table
U2-How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb

From the brightest star
Comes the blackest hole
You had so much to offer
Why did you offer your soul?
I was there for you baby
When you needed my help
Would you deny for others
What you demand for yourself?

Cool down mama, cool off
Cool down mama, cool off

You speak of signs and wonders
I need something other
I would believe if I was able
But I'm waiting on the crumbs from your table

You were pretty as a picture
It was all there to see
Then your face caught up with your psychology
With a mouth full of teeth
You ate all your friends
And you broke every heart thinking every heart mends

You speak of signs and wonders
But I need something other
I would believe if I was able
But I'm waiting on the crumbs from your table

Where you live should not decide
Whether you live or whether you die
Three to a bedSister Ann, she said
Dignity passes by

And you speak of signs and wonders
But I need something other
I would believe if I was able
I'm waiting on the crumbs from your table

My Journey

Those of you that have seen me in the last month or so (and those of you who haven't will just have to take my word for it) may have noticed that I have given into the fad of wearing one of those colored oversized rubber band bracelets. No, mine does not show the world that I made a donation to the cause of aids, cancer, children's hospitals, or animal shelters...Nope, mine was actually a free gift with a purchase from Cokesbury bookstore. Although I am not one give into trends, I decided that I would put this band on as a reminder. The band says "My Journey" on it (along with Cokesbury's logo). As was mentioned in the last comment section of my first post, I view the endeavor I am on as just that: a Journey. However, it’s not just A journey; it’s MY journey. My journey differs from your journey, and yours differs from everyone else's.

I love stories! As you may be able to tell from looking at my book Reading links (to your left) I like epic stories. I really love stories about people who have a destiny and go through this epic journey to become the person they are meant to be. Harry Potter, Eragon, and Sonea (The Black Magician Trilogy) are all tangled up in an epic story that has some sort of journey through which they must progress. That is somewhat how I view being a Christian. I view myself as being on this great journey of exploration and understanding so that one day I will finally become the person that God has created me to be! In reading these stories however, I have noticed a trend. Every hero of the story embarks on their journey and meets companions along the way that help him or her become the person they were meant to be. I've come to realize a basic fact of life. Whatever your journey may be, you cannot accomplish it alone; Hence the need for a Christian to be a part of a Christian Community.

What is interesting though about the Christian community is that not only are its members on their own journey, but the organization itself is on a quest. What is that quest? Well it’s the quest of how to do Church of course! See I have this theory. I'm sure that I'm not the first to think of this, and I could be wrong, but I see a trend throughout church history. Here we have the one and only Catholic Church. Then we have a Division in the Catholic Church (Roman v. Orthodox). Then we have the Reformation, denominationalism, 1&2 Great Awakening, Church splits, and the list goes on. I think that all of these events are a direct result of the confusion that Christ left us in when he...well... left! I mean its not like he gave us a Minister's Manual, a guide to running church programs, heck he didn't even leave us with an Order of worship Template (although I think some churches think that he did!) Look at the early Church portrayed in the New Testament. You can't even get through the book of acts without the leaders of the church splitting on the issue of circumcision! Obviously, the Churches that the epistles are addressed to were having trouble trying to "do church".

So what does this have to do with my journey you may ask (or you may not, but let’s pretend you do)? Well my journey keeps coming back to the Journey of the Church. Are we really getting anywhere? Do we really, "do church" any better 2000 years after the first churches began. Do we have any better understanding of what Christ envisioned when he gave us the great commission? I'm not sure. I think we may do some things better, but I feel that there are many things that we are just as lost and confused about as the first Christians were. Will we ever get closer to an understanding of what Christ wanted when he forsaw Christian community? I'm not sure, but for some strange reason my journey keeps overlapping with the Church's Journey, and I can't help and wonder if part of my Journey is to help the Church on its journey. I mean, we both are striving to be whatever it is that Christ is striving to make us in to.

Justin doin his thang! 

Thinking out Loud

I have a problem. I don't know how severe my condition is at the moment, but I have to say it has added much unwanted strife in my life lately. Like most conditions, it started small a long time ago, and the more I ignored the situation the worse it has become. What is my situation you ask... Well it isn't something that I've had professionally diagnosed, but I am sure that any person with a degree in psychology (as my wife has), medicine, or common sense would say that I think too much.
I do! I'm not saying that I am extremely smart, an intellect, or a philosopher. I just like to think. Unfortunately, after a while I begin to dwell on things, and I begin to find things that bother me and/or confound me. I am a dweller. I think I get it from my mother.... But no she's a worrier and I don't think this is the same thing.
Anyway, that is why I have decided to blog. My thoughts are strings of yarn that are winding together and getting tangled up with each other to the point that I can't work through the things that I need to work through. John Mayer would call this a quarter life crisis, and I wouldn't argue. Many of my frustrations are brought on by the fact that life is moving on whether I am ready for it to or not. The end of school is finally in sight, I am facing questions about income, family, and careers. So maybe that is why the crisis decided to pick now to culminate. What is my purpose in life? Does God have a plan for me, or is he as confused by me as I am? I guess the biggest question plaguing me is what is my calling. Unfortunately, in order to answer that question I must first try to untangle the many theological and personal conundrums imprisoned in my cranium.
The purpose of this blog is to share my thoughts throughout this semester; To seek out order, sanity, and feedback on my dilemmas. I will warn you that the majority of thses thoughts will be confined to the area of Ministry and Theology ( I am a minister after all). But who knows where it will take me. Putting some order to my thoughts may take us through philosophy, psychology, common sense, and a lot of ranting and raving. But who knows... Maybe there is something to this after all. Let's call it an therapeutic experiment. Let's call it "being John Malchovich"...No wait that's already taken...Well then how about just "being Justin"! Here's to all going well! Cheers!